The lines were ringing off the hook. Every one of our listeners demanded more, had insights, or just wanted to hear their own voices. We didn’t have any more, and the insights were getting repetitive: “I support the Knights”, “What they’re doing is wrong”, and so forth. I’m not even going to talk about that third group. Jake and I tried to appease the masses, but the shock of the Sargent’s death had hit us hard. Eventually, we stopped the show and began to play music. I then took the scenic route home.
It was there I began to truly shut down. Jenna had made me tea for when I got there, but I didn’t drink it. I just went to my bed in a haze and laid there with my thoughts jumbling around. Never had I ever experienced a death on my show. “First for everything,” I heard myself say. I didn’t want to admit it, but everything I thought the Knights wouldn’t do, they did, and all of my predictions and thoughts had been wrong in the worst way. I felt guilty for my denial. I began to wonder, how many families lost someone today? My heart ached.
“You want to talk?” Jenna had been standing at the doorway while I thought.
“I don’t know what’s to talk about,” I rolled to face her and almost fell off the bed. “You listen to my show, right? That just about says it all. People died and I feel horrible about it.”
She rolled me onto my back and straddled me. “It’s not your fault, you know. Feeling guilty about their deaths won’t bring them back, and it won’t help you either.”
I closed my eyes. “I know. There must be something I can do though, something.”
After I opened my eyes, I saw Jenna’s beautiful smile. “You can: keep going on with the show. You can help people by informing them on what’s going on and giving them a vent to share their thoughts and knowledge. If you can, you give them something to hope for.”
“Something to hope for.”
She nodded. “Yes.” She then leaned over me and whispered into my ear. “I have another reason for you to keep doing your show: I’m pregnant.”
I blinked. “You’re? I’m, I’m going to be a father?”
That beautiful smile, I broke into tears of joy. This was something we had been trying for years, and finally, I was going to be a father.
She kissed me and I returned the favor with a passion. For a while we just held each other, kissing, exploring each other’s bodies, loving, saying sweet nothings. The rest of the world was forgotten in that blissful moment, and I was happy. Because of an unfortunate accident she had as a child, the doctors had told us that having a child was more than likely impossible, but now we accomplished a miracle. Tomorrow, I would announce to the world that I am going to be a father.
The next few days were peaceful, and aside from the celebration of my wife’s pregnancy, nothing else happened. Then the casualty report arrived.
“Hello, listeners, this is Paul Davis of 102.9 WWLK speaking, and we have finally gotten what seems to be the casualty report of the apparent bombings that happened in Minneapolis.”
Jake pipped up. “That’s right folks. Initial reports say that more than three hundred soldiers were killed in the bombings that happened there including the death of Sargent Victoria Weis.”
“I would like to give up a moment of silence for the families that lost their loved ones that day.”
That minute was agonizingly slow, but it went by and I emotionally sent my regards to all the families that suffered because of the Knight’s of Discord attacks. I knew what it was like to lose someone close to you; my brother died in a car accident when I was twelve. Being young and stupid, I blamed myself for his death, but eventually we all pulled through. Now here I was, the old scars resurfaced into my life for the first time in a decade.
After the minute was up, Jake started up again in a muted voice. “There are about a hundred more troops missing, and after the first day of the explosions the commander-in-chief of that excursion called for a retreat back to the border to prevent further losses.”
I wasn’t going to let this put me down anymore. “This was a terrible loss, but we still can survive this. We live in an ever changing world, and new obstacles rise up against us. This is no different. I know some of you listeners support what the Knights of Discord are doing, but there are also those of you that are afraid of what might happen. Fear is OK, but you shouldn’t let it rule your lives. We have people that we’re responsible for, loved ones we have to take care of, and even if the Knights of Discord get what they want and change how the government is ordered, so be it, but we will continue living. Continue caring about our loved ones. Continue on as a country. Hope is still there, and in the midst of this chaos there is order, we just have to make it for ourselves if no one else will do it.”